|
|
|
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses late one afternoon and they realize they’re not going to make it home before dark. So they find a suitable spot and make camp for the night. They pitch their tents, start a fire, and commence cooking their supper.
As soon as they eat the meal and have cleaned up, they sit around the fire telling stories and singing songs. Soon, the sun has set and it gets dark. So they crawl into their sleeping bags and go to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger up. “Kemo Sabe, look at sky, what you see?” he asks. The Lone Ranger replies, “I see a bunch of stars, why?”
“Tonto asks, “What that tell you?”
The Lone Ranger pauses and thinks. After a few minutes, he says, “Well, theologically it tells me that God is powerful and great, and we’re just small and insignificant. Astronomically, it tells me there are billions of stars out there, millions of galaxies, and thousands of planets, some of which might have life on them. Meteorologically, it tells me we’re going to have a beautiful day tomorrow. Astrologically, it tell me that Mars is in the constellation of Leo. Chronologically, it tells me it’s about 2:30 in the morning. Why, Tonto? What does it tell you?”
Tonto replies, “Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo chips. Someone stole tent.” |
|
hree cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."
"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello."
"I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!" |
|
A tough old cowboy told his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be. |
|
One Sunday, a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay." |
|
At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, pardner."
"Oh yeah, what happened?" asked the other cowboy.
"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!" replied the first cowboy.
"So, how'd you get away?" asked the other cowboy.
"The bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over," replied the first cowboy.
"Man, that's scary! If it'd been me, I would probably have crapped all over the place," remarked the second cowboy.
The first cowboy replied, "I DID! What do you think that bull was slipping in?" |
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>
|
| Results 1 - 9 of 12 |
