List of Common Euphemisms Found in the Classifieds

Women Seeking Men

Affectionate Possessive
Artistic Unreliable
Athletic Flat-Chested
Exotic beauty Would frighten a Martian
Free spirit Substance user
Fun Annoying
Loves animals Cat lady
New Age All body hair, all the time
Outgoing Loud
Spiritual Involved with a cult
Stable Boring
Wants Soulmate Stalker

Men Seeking Women

Athletic Sits on the sofa and watches ESPN
Average looking Average hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated Will always treat you like an idiot
Employed On management track at Radio Shack
Financially Secure I will spend so in return for which I to obey my every whim of your moral life.
Free Spirit Sleeps with your sister
Huggable Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben
Professional Owns a white button-down
Sensitive Needy
Stable Stalker, but never convicted
Thoughtful Says "please" when demanding a beer
Young at heart Pedophile