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Urinal Etiquette

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Submitted By Comedian   
 Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.

 There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.

 ===============================================



 The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.

 An X above the number will indicate "in use."



 (Sample):



  |   |   | x |   |   | x |     (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6

  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |     are occupied.)

  -------------------------



 You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at

 which stall you are to correctly stand.  Good luck!



  --------------------

    Easy Section

  --------------------

 1.)



  |   | x |   | x |   |   |     (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)

  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

  -------------------------



 Your choice: ___

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

 Correct answer: 6        It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy

                          instinctively knows this.

 ===============================================

 2.)



  | x |   |   |   |   |   |    (Urinal 1 occupied.)

  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

  -------------------------



 Your choice:  ___

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

 Correct answer: 6        Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a

                          greater risk of being next to someone

                          who arrives later.

 ===============================================

  -------------------------

  Kind of tricky Section:

  -------------------------

 3.)



  |   |   |   |   |   |   |   (empty)

  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

  --------------------------



 Your choice:  __

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

 Correct answer:  1 or 6    You are tacitly saying,

                            "I don't want anyone next to me."

 ===============================================

 4.)



   |   | x |   | x |   | x |       (2, 4 and 6 occupied)

   | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

   -------------------------



 Your choice:  ___

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

 Correct answer:  1        You're stuck being next to at

                           least ONE guy, so you minimize the

                           impact and get a wall on your left.

                           NEVER go between TWO guys if you

                           can help it.  Exceptions to this

                           are stadium restrooms where the

                           herd thunders in.

 ===============================================

  -----------------------------------------------

  Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section

  -----------------------------------------------

 5.)



 |   | x |   |   | x | x |          (2, 5 and 6 occupied)

 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

  -------------------------



 Your choice:  __

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

 Correct answer:  4       Believe it or not,  1 and 3 "couples"

                          you with the guy in stall 2.  And we

                          wouldn't want THAT now, would we?



                          This differs from question 4 in such a

                          subtle way that the nuances cannot be

                          explained.  Suffice to say, only we men

                          would understand!

 ===============================================

  -----------------------------

  VERY tricky indeed Section

  -----------------------------

 6.)



 | x | x |   |   | x | x |          (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)

 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

  -------------------------



 Your choice:  ___

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

 Correct answer:  NONE!  You go to the mirror and pretend to

                         comb your hair or straighten a tie

                         until the urinals "open up" a bit more.

                         If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for

                         god's sake! ... use a doored stall.

 ===============================================

 Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

  -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep

     it terse and unemotional.  This ain't no clubhouse.

  -- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of

     anyone other than yourself.  A touch of another's elbow is of

     the highest offense.

  -- NO Singing.  Period. (includes whistling)

  -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see

     you there.  I will not look again".

                        





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