Signs You're Too Old for the Senior Tour

  1. When you take off your golf shoe, you notice a tag around your toe.
  2. Your foursome tells you to be quiet but it's just your bones creaking
  3. You need a cart just to get to your car
  4. One of your competitors loses his ball in your prodigious ear hair.
  5. Every time you swing, the waistband on your knickers chafes your nipples.
  6. You have 3 walking speeds: doddering, shuffling and wobbling.
  7. You strain your groin area just telling a joke.
  8. Your golf ball: 384 dimples. You: 384 liver spots.
  9. You have only two groupies – Carol Channing and Kate Hepburn.
  10. Good news: You make it into the Golf Hall of Fame. Bad news: it’s posthumous.