ACTIVITY	CALORIES BURNED
REMOVING CLOTHES
With partner`s consent	12
Without partner`s consent	187
UNHOOKING BRA
Using two calm hands	.7
Using one trembling hand	36
GETTING INTO BED
Lifting partner	15
Dragging partner along floor	16
Using skateboard	3
ACHIEVING ERECTIONS
For normal healthy man	2.5
Losing erection	14
Searching for it	115
PUTTING ON CONDOM
With erection	1.5
Without erection	300
INSERTING DIAPHRAGM
If the woman who does it is
Experienced	6
Inexperienced	73
If a man does it (Add (5) calories for retrieving it from across the room)	650
POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY
Italian- Man on top, woman in kitchen	26
Russian- Woman on bottom, Man getting permission	55
American- Both on top	60
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF INTERCOURSE
Bouncing	7
Sliding around	9
Serious skidding	12
Whiplash	27
ORGASM
Real	27
Faked	160
ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE
Shoes flew off	35
Expression didn`t change	1/2
Orchestra swelled	6
Birds sang -- Large birds	7
Small birds	3
Earth moved	30
PULLING OUT
After orgasm	1/2
A few moments before orgasm	500
PENIS ENVY
For woman	3
For men	72
GUILT
Despite no formal training, orgasm comes easily, naturally	53
You`re enjoying sex, despite the fact that other people are starving	2
Sex on your lunch hour	3
Putting it on expense account	20
AGGRAVATION
Partner keeps showing plant	5
Partner insists on cuddling the dog during foreplay	14
Partner just visited bathroom for 7th time	10
Partner is taking phone calls	7
Partner is making phone calls	40
GETTING CAUGHT
By partner`s spouse	60
By your spouse	100
Trying to explain	55
Trying to remain calm	100
Leaping out of bed	75
Getting dressed in one motion	500
Thanking partner quickly	3