Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Corporate America.

1. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

2. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

3. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

4. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.

5. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

6. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.

7. One Day my ship will come in... but with my luck, I'll be at the airport.