In the beginning...
After a few days, the Lord called Adam to him, and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the Earth, so I want you to start by kissing Eve."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what's a 'kiss'?"
So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand, and took her behind a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged, and said, "Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes, Adam, I thought you'd enjoy that, and now I'd like you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, "Lord, what's a 'caress'?"
So the Lord again gave Adam a brief instruction, and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam.
And now I want you to make love to Eve."
And Adam said, "Lord, what's 'making love'?" So the Lord again gave Adam direction, and Adam again went to Eve, behind the bush.
But this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, "Lord, what's a 'headache' ?"