Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
MOSES: And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." and the chicken did cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road!
JERRY SIENFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't any ever think to ask what was this chicken doing out of his pen walking around all over the place anyway?'
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken did cross the road reveals your underlying insecurity
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicke Office 780. Which will not only cross roads but will also lay eggs and file your important documents.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road" but, it is rather, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, and whom have we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predispositioned to cross roads.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us he had and that was good enough for us!
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?????