Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing was happening, so I said to her. "What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?"
Rodney Dangerfield

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing was happening, so I said to her. "What's the matter, can't you cut it?"
John Wayne Bobbit

Sex drive: A physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends at marriage.
Robert Byrne

Sex drive: A physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends at prison.
Mike Tyson

Sex drive: A physical craving that begins in adolescence and ends my marriage.
-Gunga Jim

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limit.
Unknown

The difference between kinky and perverted is... uh I don't know.
Richard Gere

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Murphy's Laws of Computing

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.

9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

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