The Obamas are expecting the arrival of the First Dog in April. Actually, it's Obama's second choice of a dog. The first dog, he had some tax problems.
Jay Leno |
|
Q: What were Democrats eating the morning after Obama was elected?
A: Barack-fast. |
|
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish ...
|
|
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made
a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
|
|
|
You make $100,000 a year, yet still can't find a place to live.
Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles away from work.
You've stopped asking how much things cost but, ask, "How long will it take?"
Two-thirds of the people you know are from Boston or New York, but you are living in PST.
You know vast diferences between Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese, and Korean food.
Your home computer contains mostly hardware/software that is not on the consumer market yet.
You go to "The City" on weekends but don't live there because you like your car.
You think that "I'm going to Fry's" is an acceptable excuse to leave the office for a while, and your boss does too.
You lost your alarm clock. You'll get to work when you get there.
You go to an industrial-heavy-metal bar and see two guys get into a fight over what flavor of UNIX is better.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have hardware/software companies printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You know who Woz is.
You know who the "other" Steve Wozniak is.
You know 280 North runs West, and 680 North runs East.
Your preferred drink of choice at a social gathering is bottled water.
You believe that even though Microsoft employs quite a few programmers in the Bay Area, they only work on Powerpoint, and the company is still the embodiment of Satan.
You see a billboard that says ``FGPA2ASIC'' and aren't phased.
When you need the updated Diamond Monster 3D drivers, it's easier to get them by walking across the street than by downloading them.
You have more bandwidth in your apartment or condo than most major universities.
You have to hire security to keep the panhandlers off your terrace.
None of the people you work with are bible thumpers.
You scan yard sales for back issues of "Dr. Dobbs".
Your favorite computer reseller speaks only Cantonese.
Your workplace vending machines dispense "100% natural twig-bars" right next to Jolt cola and Instant Espresso mix.
No one brings radios in to work - they just use RealAudio and listen to thedj.com, rebelradio.com, or other out of state stations on the company's T1 line.
|
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next > End >>
|
| Results 1 - 9 of 2855 |
