Q: Why are proctologists so gloomy?
A: They always have the end in sight.
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A young man goes to the Doctor one morning and says
"Doctor I got this problem".
"What is your problem?" replies the doctor.
"Well I'll show you" . . . he pulls down his pants and
he has this great whacking hole in his bum . . .
How did you manage that?" asks the doctor . . .
"Well let me explain . . . I went on holiday to Africa
and this huge elephant bummed me.
Doctor says "hmmmm, but elephants only have little willies."
The man replies, "I know .... but he fingered me first"
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Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
If you aim it well enough
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This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed
laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees
her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on
earth are you doing?"
She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the
breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping
again. He says, Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65
year-old ass?"
She says, "Well, your name never came up."
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There's this guy and one day, when he pissing, he notices
that his penis is orange. He goes, "What the hell?" and he went
to the doctor the next day. "Doc, why's my penis orange?" he asks.
The doctor goes, "Hmm. Never seen anything like it. Here, take a
couple of these pills and come back here tomorrow."
So the guy takes the pills back home and uses it that night.
The next day, he goes back to the doctor and the stuff doesn't do
anything. So, the doctor gives him some stronger stuff and tells him
to come back the next day. He takes it home and the next day,
his penis is still orange. He goes back to the doctor and he gives
him the strongest stuff they have. You know, he'll be out for
twelve hours and he can't eat or drink anything during that time, etc.
He comes back a couple days later and his penis is still orange.
The doctor goes, "Damn. What's going on? What kind of sex have
you been having?"
The guy goes, "Well, actually, I haven't gotten any in a long
time."
So the doctor thinks a little bit and asks, "Well, what'd you do
last night?"
The guy says, "Um, I was looking at some pornos and eating some
Cheetoes."
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