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Sad Proctologists

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Q: Why are proctologists so gloomy?

A: They always have the end in sight.
 
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African Vacation

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A young man goes to the Doctor one morning and says "Doctor I got this problem".

"What is your problem?" replies the doctor.

"Well I'll show you" . . . he pulls down his pants and he has this great whacking hole in his bum . . .

How did you manage that?" asks the doctor . . . "Well let me explain . . . I went on holiday to Africa and this huge elephant bummed me.

Doctor says "hmmmm, but elephants only have little willies."

The man replies, "I know .... but he fingered me first"

 
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Apple a Day

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Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

If you aim it well enough

 
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Checkup

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This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?"

She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?"

She says, "Well, your name never came up."

 
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Cheetos

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There's this guy and one day, when he pissing, he notices that his penis is orange. He goes, "What the hell?" and he went to the doctor the next day. "Doc, why's my penis orange?" he asks. The doctor goes, "Hmm. Never seen anything like it. Here, take a couple of these pills and come back here tomorrow."

So the guy takes the pills back home and uses it that night. The next day, he goes back to the doctor and the stuff doesn't do anything. So, the doctor gives him some stronger stuff and tells him to come back the next day. He takes it home and the next day, his penis is still orange. He goes back to the doctor and he gives him the strongest stuff they have. You know, he'll be out for twelve hours and he can't eat or drink anything during that time, etc. He comes back a couple days later and his penis is still orange.

The doctor goes, "Damn. What's going on? What kind of sex have you been having?"

The guy goes, "Well, actually, I haven't gotten any in a long time."

So the doctor thinks a little bit and asks, "Well, what'd you do last night?"

The guy says, "Um, I was looking at some pornos and eating some Cheetoes."

 
User Rating:  / 5 Votes

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